The Worst Pinterest Person, Ever

November 24
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Did you receive my invitation to follow me on Pinterest?

Currently, I have 50 pin boards (and counting) full of kickass stuff I am totally going to do. There is so much inspiration on there, I have at least 10 braingasms a day. It hasn’t happened yet, but I have a good feeling that I am going to get around to seeing all these pins come to fruition. The first step is getting the boards just right.

For example, I have a board where I pin glamorous women with perfect hair wearing expensive sweaters that I want to buy for myself. Originally I named this board, “Sweater Weather.” But after months of never clicking through a link or purchasing any of the sweaters, I realized it was because I had the name all wrong. It became clear that this board would work much better if named, “Snuggle Shrugs.” I also changed “home decor” to “this is how I do, residential edition” and “recipes” to “yum yum getcha some, good in yo’ tummy for real.” After these crucial changes, I feel I am on track to really dig in and turn these pins into realities.

The first thing I plan to tackle is the home projects. DIY pins are the new interior designer. You can make just about anything once you have all the right tools, 20 different types of paint, advanced math skills, a sewing machine, space, time, the patience of a saint, no children or animals in the house and a pinboard titled, “DIY OMG.” I just know all these projects are going to be as simple as they are made to seem in the thumbnail pictures.

As soon as I finish making a coffee table, book shelf, headboard and treehouse – all from pallets! – I am going to crack down on the 76 make ahead freezer meals I have pinned under, “Dinner’s Done, Bitches.” Just like the DIY projects, pulling these meals together is going to be a breeze. Once I make a list, do the shopping, make sure no children or animals are in the house, slice the veggies, prep the proteins, season the sauces and label my freezer bags, all I need to do is find two solid days to assemble the meals and just like that…meals for a month! It feels good to think about how many gluten free dinners my family and I will enjoy.

Are you getting excited about following me on Pinterest yet? It’s all very pintastic. I just made that up. Quick! Use a cool font and a funky graphic to make that a quotable and pin the hell out of it. It should read, “My Boards are Pintastic!” You will notice I have a whole board devoted to quotes. At first I called it, “words,” then I changed it to “awesome sauce,” but recently I settled on “potent potables.” Keep your eyes peeled for that one.

If quotes don’t get your motor running, head over to one of my favorite boards, “Sock n’ Roll.” This is where I have pinned 100 different crafts you can make with old socks. You will be excited to learn how the same cloth that once absorbed the sweat of your feet can easily become a stylish scarf or coffee mug cozy or dog collar or pillow case or bread basket. All I need to complete these projects are an assload of old socks, scissors, time, needle, thread, time, patience and a little more time and soon everyone will be complementing my recycled sock creations.

Don’t be alarmed by the amount of time Pinterest will suck from your life. Every precious second will be worth it once you are basking in your homespun Christmas wonderland that you crafted from coffee filters, glitter, old socks and pinecones. It really will blow your mind. So go ahead and click that link I sent you. Follow me on Pinterest. I follow back. And comment on your pins. It’s going to be Pintastic.

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