Sweatpant Revolution

October 13
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Teenaged girls have ruined sweatpants for the rest of us.

These young women have abused the privilege of wearing comfortable clothes in public places. The sweatpant was a gateway drug for these girls: one day they are roaming the aisles of Target in sweatpants and within a few weeks they have taken to shopping in a full set of pajamas, with bed head to match. Once they tasted the delicious freedom of the elastic waistband, they couldn’t get enough. The longing for a more intense high pushed them to leave the house in sleepwear. It wasn’t long until they realized how ridiculous it looked to be in pajamas and have their hair combed, so the messy bun became the exclamation point to their sloppy sentence.

So for the rest of us responsible sweatpant wearing citizens, it is time to rise up in unity and take back our right to be comfy in public!

I believe that with thoughtful discretion, sweatpants can make a perfectly acceptable fashion staple about town. As long as the sweatpants are free of holes and stains, you are wearing an appropriate top and have properly groomed yourself, you should feel free to sport sweatpants while running your errands. This is the reasonable way to do things. Know your boundaries with loungewear to reap the benefits comfort outside the home.

Join the Sweatpant Revolution! Freedom from zippers!



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