I’ve always been interested in the idea of soul mates.
It is one of those tricky terms, that can mean different things to different people. Webster’s dictionary defines a soul mate as:
a person with whom one has a strong affinity, shared values and tastes, and often a romantic bond.
By my standards, this sounds like a close friend, spouse or family member. To me, a soul mate is a perfect fit. A cosmic bond. Two people created just for each other. An exact match.
I have heard people refer to others in their life as their soul mate. In my early 20’s I clung to the idea of finding my soul mate. Then one day it occurred to me that perhaps soul mates do not exist. That the math does not add up to locate your perfect fit in a sea of billions. Surprisingly, this did not devastate me. In fact, it made my vision clearer.
I realized, their can’t be just one out there. Our souls are too vast and too complex to have just one mate. Every relationship takes work and loyalty and compromise – it’s never going to be magically perfect. All the people who matter in my life add to my soul in their own little ways. They leave the best pieces of themselves in my soul so I can keep loving bigger, laughing harder and becoming more wise. Some leave bigger pieces than others and some take more than I thought I was capable of giving. And that is the push/pull of a soulful relationship.
So, no. I don’t believe in a soul mate. I believe in soulful relationships. I don’t think there is one predestined person out there for everyone. I believe there are a handful of people, that if you are fortunate enough to find, you connect with in a soulful way and through the nurturing of that relationship it grows into something incredible.
That’s me. What about you? Do you believe in soul mates?