I would rather give myself a migraine than ask someone for help.
But…Can’t. Stop. Doing. It.
It seems I have a powerful need to prove to myself that I can do things on my own. While this is not necessarily a bad thing, I take it to the extreme. Toiling away long after I have reached the point to which my knowledge or ability runs out. In most situations, I know someone who can help, yet I rarely reach out to them and ask for assistance. Everyone’s time is limited and I have convinced myself that asking someone to take time on my issue would just be plain rude.
But I am learning, over and over, that most people want to help if they can.
I was reminded of this just last week. After months of struggling with a problem related to this blog, I came to the conclusion that I could not resolve this issue on my own and needed to reach out for help. All along I had a hunch that a tech guru friend of mine could offer the help I needed. So I asked. And she helped (happily). It was as simple as two emails and 10 minutes.
When the tables are turned and I have information or skills that can help another person out, I am happy to give of my time to do so. In fact, I really love helping people – it makes me feel connected to people and gives me a sense that I am serving something greater than myself. Somewhere deep in our DNA is the communal mentality. Our ancestors lived and worked as a team just to meet their basic needs.
When we open ourselves to others and let them lend a hand, it benefits both of us. The only thing I proved by toiling away at a task I had no knowledge of was that I am really stubborn and make things hard on myself for no good reason. Relying on someone who is strong where you are weak is not a sign of failure. In fact, it shows that you are smart enough to put your ego aside and move forward instead of staying stuck in the same spot.
So if you are like me, stop being a jerk to yourself.
We are not meant to do it all on our own.
You get to grow a little when you ask for help and see the kindness in others shine.